Black people and only Black? Seems hard for me to accept even though I agree.?

Okay so forgive me if this seems like a rant but I am very conflicted. My mind is wondering over thoughts that go completely against the way my life has been going. I have many white friends and I have a very optimistic view on life. My mind is reminding me of all the horrible things in history that have been committed to races around the world by whites over and over and over and yet they never have to answer for what they do. My attitude was that I knew that but its not this generation that is to blame so what is there to do. But then I hear the comments that come out of my friends mouth, racist comments, and everyone accepts this as okay even myself up till now. I believe now that considering the historic events that took place for them to have the gall to even think those horrible things is wrong. And then I hear arguments that everyone does this... My current view on it is that some people, my people, africans, latinos (who are africans so stop the separation plz) etc. who have been oppressed constantly even to this day have some backing for saying horrible things. Even today africans have been wronged. You seldom walk down the street and see a black woman looking the way she naturally would. Applying chemicals to their hair to mimick white womens hair because that is what people have been telling them they need to do. Terms like bad hair have been in the family for generations but really they need to realize the strength in their hair that it grows out and is able to stand rather than weak hair that falls limp. That the media is predominately white while there are more black folk. The whole acre and a mule thing that never happened. People can go on with these things but I haven't fully internalized that information yet. My trouble lies in my next move. I realize that while dealing with my white friends I will have to endure the remarks that make me feel bad. People looking at me funny when I walk in a room. My sister in law feeling the need to spend money putting chemicals in her hair. My 9 yr. old brother going to school and coming home crying because a girl on the bus made fun of his color. A 9 yr. old. It is my nature to say get past those things and look to a future of racial acceptance and keep the friendships that I thought were equal but with these things I'm thinking I don't see how that is possible. I feel that once a person realizes these things they have no other choice but to change. I don't understand how they cant. It is a hurt on my heart and soul and mind. They all seem to pull in different directions.